"Scorpy, how do you know when you're in love?"
"Great question and thanks for asking"
I know love is different for everyone but it seems to hit me like a hammer. Although, I have been in love three times they have hit me equally as fast. I have had some long term partners which I haven't loved, but been very fond of, and I knew I wasn't in love just as earnestly as I knew those that I did love. I'm a romantic and fall very easily but I 'love' women generally so it should be easy.
Love always traps me. It is like a drug that takes all rational thought away and replaces it with a sole purpose and that purpose is the her love. Work suffers, eating suffers, friends suffer...in fact all aspects of my life suffer except for her. I can't wait to see her, hold her, touch her, hear her. I count the hours and minutes. I rush. I'm alert. I'm devoted in my passion and desire to be with her. Clingy it may sound but the initial phases of love, as stated, are a drug and she is the pusher. I need my fix and nothing will hold me back from her. She will fill my dreams as she fills my daylight thoughts. The love drug is not gradual either. It is instantaneous. I know or don't know, within minutes, and that is why I hate dates....especially those from the Internet. I need to see them first. There has to be something about them that initially attracts me and that may be shallow but my body and brain give me the signals. So if I attend a blind date I will know straight away if I should just turn around and leave although I don't because I'm not rude. The drug part comes when I first meet them. It is something in their eyes and the way they respond to people....but having said that I think it is really the adrenalin and other chemicals released that keep me in the chase for when the initial entrapment is complete I seem to lose that lust and passion and maybe that is why they never last. I need to feel loved and their is nothing better than the 'initial love' because, and lets be honest, very few people can keep up that initial romance and momentum of the first few months (maybe years). The chase (and often the secrecy) of that initial love is a high upon highs. It is the aphrodisiac that inflames me.
The weird bit is that when we break up...I almost have the same feelings. I want them back even though deep down I know they are probably not right...I still want them back. I want to feel that adrenalin of the sweaty palms and racing heart.....but in its worst phase love is equally damaging as it was once uplifting. The loss affects work, friends, eating sleeping to the same degree as the initial love did...except this time you feel like crap. Funny thing love...what are your thoughts? and I hope I answered the initial blogger's question ;)
"Great question and thanks for asking"
I know love is different for everyone but it seems to hit me like a hammer. Although, I have been in love three times they have hit me equally as fast. I have had some long term partners which I haven't loved, but been very fond of, and I knew I wasn't in love just as earnestly as I knew those that I did love. I'm a romantic and fall very easily but I 'love' women generally so it should be easy.
Love always traps me. It is like a drug that takes all rational thought away and replaces it with a sole purpose and that purpose is the her love. Work suffers, eating suffers, friends suffer...in fact all aspects of my life suffer except for her. I can't wait to see her, hold her, touch her, hear her. I count the hours and minutes. I rush. I'm alert. I'm devoted in my passion and desire to be with her. Clingy it may sound but the initial phases of love, as stated, are a drug and she is the pusher. I need my fix and nothing will hold me back from her. She will fill my dreams as she fills my daylight thoughts. The love drug is not gradual either. It is instantaneous. I know or don't know, within minutes, and that is why I hate dates....especially those from the Internet. I need to see them first. There has to be something about them that initially attracts me and that may be shallow but my body and brain give me the signals. So if I attend a blind date I will know straight away if I should just turn around and leave although I don't because I'm not rude. The drug part comes when I first meet them. It is something in their eyes and the way they respond to people....but having said that I think it is really the adrenalin and other chemicals released that keep me in the chase for when the initial entrapment is complete I seem to lose that lust and passion and maybe that is why they never last. I need to feel loved and their is nothing better than the 'initial love' because, and lets be honest, very few people can keep up that initial romance and momentum of the first few months (maybe years). The chase (and often the secrecy) of that initial love is a high upon highs. It is the aphrodisiac that inflames me.
The weird bit is that when we break up...I almost have the same feelings. I want them back even though deep down I know they are probably not right...I still want them back. I want to feel that adrenalin of the sweaty palms and racing heart.....but in its worst phase love is equally damaging as it was once uplifting. The loss affects work, friends, eating sleeping to the same degree as the initial love did...except this time you feel like crap. Funny thing love...what are your thoughts? and I hope I answered the initial blogger's question ;)
17 recovered enough to reply:
I'm glad that I'm not the only obsessive one around here, when i'm in love, I eat, drink,and breathe the object of my affection,its often an actual physical ache... even though most of the time they would never know it.
I really dont think an intense love like that can be sustained..nor maybe should it be, but having seperations from the person can help keep it fresh, that why i tend to have relationships with people who go away a lot, haha
Question then: if you know right away whether or not it's love, then why did you/do you stay in those relationships where you know you don't love her? Why have a long-term relationship where you KNOW it's not love?
Steady sex, why else?
Bat: you don't think he can get it wherever/whenever he wants? 'Eh, I think Scorpy just wants you to think that ;-)
Enigma: Yep...absence makes the heart and all hat :)
TC: I don't have to LOVE someone to have a relationship with them. I think there is love on many different levels
Bat: Exactly!!! ;)
TC: Maybe I can and maybe I can't but at the moment I'm not even looking although I do have something on the side just in case ;)
You do know you are a classic Scorpio, dont you?
Enigma: Indeed I do. I am the Classic Scorpy in all its forms ;)
My ex used to say he loved watching the "fox classics"
It was nice to read your thoughts on this.
I get your point, but don't you eventually think you're wasting both your and her time if there isn't love?
TC: If I went thru life only sharing it with people I loved then I would noty have experinced half of what I have....and just because I have loved someone it does not mean that they loved ME!! ;)
I think you summed it up very nicely. It can be exhilarating and devastating all at the same time.
In agreement with all comments, especially enigma and steph. As Charles Dickens said, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
Personally, I am enraptured to hear that a man thinks like this. I have begun to think I am mad because all the men I meet act as if they have no pulse.
God bless you for being a true Scorpio, from a fellow pincher, Cynic the Cancerian Crab ( :
here it is thursday and i've been thinking about this post since i read it on monday...and i'm still trying to put into words how i feel about the man i've known since i was 10 and loved for more years than i can even remember. but one thing is sure...it was yesterday, it is today and it will be tomorrow.
"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!
— Captain Corelli's Mandolin
I love like you do...I can't eat, can't sleep, can't think.
I read a really interesting article a few years back that compared the brain waves of people in love to the brain waves of insane people. Quite similar as you can imagine...
This just made me wanna cry. I am a Cancer dating a Scorpio. Your description of it has given me a lot of food for thought.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I know how difficult that can be for Scorpio's sometimes.
People do not always think of this, but water signs might be intensely emotional- that does not mean that it comes easy to us to express it always, sometimes it can be one of the hardest things on the planet. My Scorpio taught me to think of the element of water- diving into it, drowing, cold, warm, soothing, freezing- these are all aspects of water emotion and in love it can sometimes destroy just as well as it can nurture.
My two cents.
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